Singles Tips

Toni Coleman looks at tips for singles to help you get noticed...

Making The Connection: Tips For Getting Noticed

Author: Toni Coleman

Chances are that you have had a wide variety of experiences in

your quest for meeting singles. These can range from an event

that yields several nice interactions and at least one offer to

get together for a date, to going home feeling frustrated and

convinced you are destined to be a dating failure.

If you had made a note of your mood, your general attitude, your

level of comfort, (and other related factors) after each

experience, you would have some very useful information. For the

attributes you carry along with you to these social gatherings

will have a great impact on the outcome of each.

The following are tips for helping you to present the best you

to others. As you read each, do a quick inventory of how you

rate in that area. It's always helpful to ask friends to weigh

in with their observations. The more information, the better.

1. Present yourself as confident and in possession of a healthy

self-esteem.

In general, people are attracted to those who appear confident

and who feel good about themselves. Certainly, this is a turn-on

for you as well. If you feel desirable and sexy, it makes sense

that others will too.

If low self-esteem is a problem for you, this should be the

first area you work on in yourself. It is not necessary to have

over the top confidence, just a sense that you are someone that

has a lot of positives to offer others.

Do some reading, take a class that teaches assertiveness and/or

practice daily affirmations. Remember also that when you treat

yourself with respect and adhere to healthy boundaries with

others, you will foster a healthy sense of self.

2.Be Yourself

NEVER try to be someone you are not. Not only do you come across

as insincere, you also will present as uncomfortable and make

others feel this way right along with you.

Trying to be cool, aggressive, (etc.), generally just makes you

awkward and unapproachable. Relax, be natural, be the you that

your friends and others who know and like you, see and

appreciate.

Think back to the times you have witnessed someone "acting" in a

social situation, and the general reaction of those around them.

Then think about the people you know who are good at meeting

others. These are the people who present their true (best) side.

3. Smile and Show Enthusiasm

Certainly you have encountered strangers who were sullen and

appeared negative and unapproachable. A smile can change all

that.

Have an open and inviting expression. Make good eye contact.

People are DRAWN to others like this. Let that attractive

stranger know you are open to meeting them and happy to be

there. If they have an interest back, this will pave the way for

a first interaction.

If you don't feel like smiling it may be a good idea to sit this

one out at home with a movie or a good book or a low-key get

together with a good friend.

4. Present Your Best Appearance

Always make your best effort in your grooming and choice of

clothing. Attractive is just that. It's not about having

beautiful features or a fantastic body. It's all about

presenting what you have in the best light possible.

This also includes presenting an attractive personality. Be

friendly, not pushy. Be open, not indiscreet. Have opinions,

don't be a know-it-all. Always remember to consider others'

feelings and needs. These interactions are not just about you.

5. Have Some Good Openings Lines Available

Hint: Natural conversation is best.

Some possible ones to consider:

*Do you know so and so? *I noticed you were enjoying the music a

lot, isn't this a great band? *Your drink looks good- what is

it? *I noticed you standing here alone and thought you may want

some company.

Of course, the direct approach is ok too. *Hi, I'm so and so,

what is your name?

Remember that there are no rules anymore about who goes first.

If you see someone who interests you, go for it. Just remember

that they may not return your feelings. Then you move away

gracefully, look around for someone else that attracts you, and

make an overture towards them.

Also remember that rejection is part of the process. If you let

the fear keep you from taking that first step, you will greatly

lessen your chances of meeting and connecting with compatible

singles.

Toni coleman Helping Singles Find Lasting Love

www.consum-mate.com Toni@consum-mate.com

About the author:

Toni Coleman is a relationship coach who specializes in working

with singles wanting lasting relationships. She has over 20

years of post-masters experience in coaching with singles and

couples. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting

Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles

to define, implement and fulfill their relationship goals. She

has also written numerous email classes for singles on all

aspects of meeting, dating and relating.