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Alina Ruigrok looks at the recipe for a healthy relationship...

Recipe for a Healthy Relationship

Author: Alina Ruigrok - www.love-sessions.com

First off, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a

real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs

and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to

give them. This way, you can see early in your first dates, if

you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if

the other person feels the same of course (both sides count).

Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both

need to remember what brought the two of you together in the

first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both

physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her

personality? This will help not taking the other for granted,

which can often happen after two people have been together for a

long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does

mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after

a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem

can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and

effort.

Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about

things, so never expect a person to always see things your way.

However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a

relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments. Look for

things like whether or not it is important for the both of you

to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each

other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some

people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some

alone time. Or if sex is on the top of your list, but is not on

your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do

not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a

while, depending on how long you have to wait!

Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship.

There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in

which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take

it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep

breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a

certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an

unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they

are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to

mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of

them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you

will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter

what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship,

unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you

(which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).

Honesty is also at the top of everyone's list when it comes to

what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know

that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of

safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that

they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the

truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect,

which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that

fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead

of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you

knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks

respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the

relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the

mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to

know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the

sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized

this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your

wrong doings to the other.

Being accepted is a requirement in all relationships. No one

desires to be with someone who judges them and rejects them for

who they are or certain traits of their personalities. That is

the beauty of being individuals. We are entitled to our own

decisions, hobbies, goals, etc. When some one truly loves you,

they love the whole package you come in, which means the

physical you, the emotional you and the dreams and hobbies that

come along with you. The person you choose to be with should

support your dreams and respect your hobbies.

Kindness and thoughtfulness are both equally important in a

healthy relationship. Your partner needs to be considerate of

your feelings and treat you with care and kindness, as if you

were a sweet delicate rose. He or she does not need to attend

you like a babysitter, but should be there for you when you need

him or her, or when you do not need them, but just because you

want them. They should just want to be with you as well. The

point of a relationship is not depending on each other for our

self- health, but being a part of the others life. You should be

responsible for your own happiness and esteem, not your partner.

So remember, a healthy relationship is when you and your partner

can be yourselves, be honest with each other, be patient, accept

one another, be kind and remembering to be thoughtful. With an

open and caring relationship like this, your love is sure to

grow and grow like beautiful trees do, because they receive the

proper care from the sun and the rest of nature. Our partner is

our sun and water, as we are to them. Together, you can keep

your relationship happy and healthy.

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Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in

need of dating, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.

About the author: Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com helping those

in need of dating, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.